Spring Hard

The best thing about growing up in Southeast Texas is that Summer is never more than a few weeks away.

The worst thing about growing up in Southeast Texas is that Summer is never more than a few weeks away.

 In Southeast Texas there are two main seasons: Summer and Cold. There are small transition periods, I like to call Micro-Seasons. Spring and Fall last about 3 weeks each, and have nights with the temperature falling to the 50s and 60s, while the temperature during the day can vary from 70 to 90 degrees. So these are the times you wear layers because you are guaranteed to be freezing cold and burning hot in the same day.

Cold in Southeast Texas last from about the end of October to beginning of February.  It’s just cold enough to need a thicker jacket than you used in the fall evenings, but still warm enough that I people looked ridiculous when I people bring out the parka.  During Cold, we also have annoying drizzle the entire time, and Cold has its last hoo-raw the first weekend of February, when we get one last hard freeze. We did not get that this year, so the bugs have come out early, and ready for battle. But that’s for later….

Because Spring is such a short micro-season here, Hubby and I like to take advantage of it by being outside as much as possible. We spent Saturday bike riding through the park, and through a fancy neighborhood that advertises “From the $480s to the 1 millions!” While we ride through the neighborhood, we try to figure out if EVERYONE in the neighborhood is a doctor or lawyer, or if they themselves are the single cause for the housing crisis the country saw recently.

Flooded River
The flooded Brazos River. See all those little torrents spinning in the water? That's from the water hitting the submerged TREES as it flows.

When we got home we grilled outside and hung out with the dogs in the back yard. I watched Shiner, my very stupid dog, as he investigated a leaf near the garage door.

Shiner- so stupid, he's happy all the time.

He went to sniff the large leaf (I assumed it was from our neighbor’s maple tree), and when he did the leaf moved. Shiner jumped back, startled.  After that he was eye-balling that leaf for a good ten minutes. We had a good laugh, watching him try to get a better look at it without getting too close, repositioning, laying down to watch it, and I even thought about going to get a camera to document how ridiculous he was being. Then I noticed that the leaf had moved again. And stretched out. And gotten longer. And then I realized that the leaf was a copper head.

My stupid, happy-go-lucky dog, had just saved us from a venomous snake! As soon as we realized that’s what it was, I checked him all over to make sure it hadn’t bit him, and then Hubby did what hubbies do, and dispatched the snake. (As much as I love snakes, neither of us have the proper training to collect and relocate a venomous snake, so that was the safest alternative for everyone).

Then, only a few minutes later, while we were apologizing to Shiner for making fun of him (truth) Hubby pointed behind me. And I saw a G.I.A.N.T. Cockroach behind me on the wall. (I’ll pause so you can screech it horror for the appropriate amount of time).

…..

This has nothing to do with our housekeeping. This has everything to do with the fact that we live about 200 feet from a wooded area.  And, and I’ve already mentioned, it’s Spring.

Luckily, I have Hubby trained. See, I’m not scared of anything. I have a healthy respect for wild animals, but I am not scared of a single creature. Cockroaches however, are trying to take over the planet. They are disgusting, a huge, and CAN PREDICT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. Seriously. When we moved into this house, there were cockroaches everywhere. The house had been unoccupied for a while, so they had pretty much taken over the back yard and garage. I would try to smash one, AND IT WOULD DODGE ME. A cockroach. How did it know?! These things are smarter than they appear, and they are getting organized. So, back to the training – Hubby used to think I was ridiculous for my hatred of roaches. Not fear, mind you, hatred. And disgust. Now he understands that the cunning organisms are getting smarter. He, however, wields the all powerful…..Chaco Sandal. That sandal should have tally marks on it. It works. Usually. Seriously, I think roaches have perfected Adamantium. Or bionics. Or they are really tiny Terminators from the future. Either way, I swear 10 minutes later the same roach he had smashed was back for revenge. Ok, so it was probably another one, but come on! What are the odds!?

By this time, it was time to go inside. Where there were no tiny vampiric bastards causing anemia to be a common occurence in our neighborhood, and no bionic Super Roaches striking panic in the hearts of….hundreds.

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