The Steve Martin/John Candy movie always seemed a little depressing to me. One guy keeps getting screwed over and the other guy doesn’t see anything wrong with that. Well, today that movie seems to have come to fruition, and I’m Steve Martin.
It all started with Expedia.com. I was trying to book a flight to Timmins, Ontario for work and the only way to save the budget for the project was to book through Expedia. I was on a personal trip and attempting to book the flight from a hotel room. I was getting so frustrated because every time I selected a flight, I would go through all the hoops of selecting my flight, my seat, and everything else when I would get the next screen that would say this flight is no longer available.”
This should have been taken as a sign (Sign #1). Maybe I should have just put off the trip a little later and book it through a real airline instead of the discount site. But no. I was able to book a flight, a hotel, and a rental car, and it ONLY took 1 hour. When it should have taken 20 minutes.
I was continually getting emails from Expedia about booking my trip to Timmins. It was a little confusing because THEY of ALL PEOPLE should be well aware that I already booked my flight to Timmins, right? (Sign #2).
Yesterday I got the email to check in for my flight within 24 hours of my trip. I tried to do that and it kept saying that it couldn’t do that. Call customer service. When I tried to call customer service, this was the recording. “Thank you for calling United Airlines. We are currently experiencing a large volume of calls. All of our representatives are currently helping other customers. If it is not an emergency, try again later.” Well it wasn’t an emergency, so I wasn’t too worried about it. (Sign #3).
Then this morning I headed to the airport in Houston and tried to check in for my flight. No dice. Every time I slide my card into the card reader, it said there was no itinerary that matched my name. (Sign #4). Probably why the website wouldn’t let me check in online either. The lady behind the counter, who looked like a 4-foot tall, black, female version of Dr. Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show, was not remotely helpful or in a hurry.
However, it seemed that everyone was having issues with the kiosks, so I wasn’t so worried about it (take it back to Sign #3). I was finally given one boarding pass, from Houston to Boston, and Ms. Dr. Frank-N-Furter told me these exact words, “This is your boarding pass for Boston. When you get to your gate in Boston, ask for your other boarding passes. This will get you to Boston, but your bag will go on to Timmins.”
Awesome. One less thing to worry about. So I had enough time to get through security and even grab a breakfast sandwich before I walked right onto my plane for Boston. Easy right? Of course I still had two more flights to catch…
I landed in Boston and it turned out I had to go through security again. I thought that was weird, but the only flying I usually do is domestic and small airports, so having to go from Terminal E to Terminal B, it makes sense that I would need to go through security again. No big deal. The airport was pretty awful, but I also blame this on Expedia. See, since I couldn’t check in online, I had no idea what terminal I needed at which airport. I had the flight numbers and the flight times, but that was pretty much it. I had to ask around for where I could find Air Canada, and the guy told me to go to Terminal B. Follow the signs to C Terminal, go across the street, and you’re there. Across the street? How big is this airport? So I followed the signs, found the C Terminal, and was stuck. It took me a while before I could find Terminal B, and it really was across the street. Then I had to go to the ticket counter to get my boarding passes. Not the gate like Dr. Frank-N-Furter said (because I had to go through security again) but at the ticket counter. I got my tickets and was on my way. Then the Boston TSA guy said this.
“You’re going the wrong way!”
All I could think about was Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (Sign #4 again). I knew people were just saying that because it is December and I’m from Texas, and going to Canada in December is probably suicide, so I didn’t think anything of it.
The flight from Boston to Toronto wasn’t bad, even though this was my “window seat” on the plane.
Toronto is actually a much bigger city than I thought it was. I would love to actually spend some time there.
When I got off the plane in Toronto everything in the airport was very well marked and stress-free. Where it wasn’t well-marked, they had employees yelling directions of where we needed to go. Flawless. I went through Customs and security again before I got to my Terminal for my final flight of the day.
This was a tiny little Turbo Prop that we had to walk out onto the runway to board. In the snow. Granted there wasn’t much snow, but it was still about 25 degrees F outside. The plane wasn’t full, so even though it was the smallest plane of the day, I had the most room.
The plane was making me a little nervous though. There was this ear-piercing whine for most of the flight. I’m not sure if it was the particular altitude we were at, or if it was when they turned the heat on in the plane, or what, but I really thought my eardrums were going to start bleeding if it didn’t stop. Of course, as soon as I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, the shrieking stopped, and I was able to read in peace. Then when we started to descend it started again. I would have preferred a crying baby. At least you know why that sound is being made and you aren’t afraid that it’s a breach in the bulkhead.
When I landed in Timmins I went to the rental car counter to get the keys for my rental car while I waited for my luggage. Apparently they were expecting me to pick up my car at 10 am. When I was in the air between Houston and Boston.
Since I hadn’t shown up, they gave away my car. And didn’t have any other cars either. Not exactly sure how you can overbook rental cars, but the girl behind the counter said that they were still expecting two more drivers, and they had no more cars to rent out?! Anyway, I blame Expedia for this too. I booked my rental car through Expedia, and USUALLY when you book a car through the airline, it automatically sets the time you will get there for when your flight lands. But for some reason Expedia decided that I would be able to pick up the keys on my way to Boston first, so they set up the rental agreement to start at 10 am. True, it was my responsibility to double-check the rental time, but remember how I said it took 1 hour to book flights and a car? I didn’t remember what time my flight was supposed to get in. I was just glad I remembered what DATE I was flying in.
Rental car girl set me up for a rental car for the morning, and I finished waiting for my luggage. I’m still waiting for my luggage. Because Dr. Frank-N-Furter doesn’t know how her job works. My bag is still in Toronto. Apparently I was supposed to get it off the conveyor belt in Toronto and go through customs with it, and then re-check the bag. NOT WHAT I WAS TOLD IN HOUSTON. (Sign #12).
So I called a cab from the airport and waited. And waited.
People came and left in taxis. Mine never came.
I called again, and the guy on the phone said that there had been an accident and he was trying to re-route a taxi to me.
I waited some more. Finally I gave up and called a different cab company. A lady who had just walked in asked if I was waiting for a cab, and when I said yes, she said, “well, there is one down there upside down in a ditch. I bet that one was yours.”
The other cab company showed up within a few minutes, and it turned out that the upside down cab was in fact the one that was supposed to be picking me up. Apparently, my driver, Dan, told me, that that guy is a horrible driver and I should be glad I wasn’t in the car with him. He is actually banned from driving with the company that did pick me up. Wow. (Sign #20).
Dan was really nice. Everyone is Canada is really nice. That’s the only saving grace for this trip so far. He told me of a place where I can see Polar Bears while I’m here. I liked Dan.
Dan only takes cash. The first cab company advertised that they took Visa and Master Card, which was why I called them in the first place. I had enough cash for Dan luckily. He took my American money. Phew.
I got to my hotel and they had my reservation. You know why? Because I booked THIS through Hotels.com. I love Hotels.com. Anyway…
I told the lady at the front desk that I’m expecting a bag, so if they could call me when it comes in, that would be great. Even if it comes in at midnight. I just want my bag.
I went to my room and saw a restaurant in the hotel with a couple people sitting at the bar. I was starving. All I had eaten all day was a breakfast sandwich and three bags of airline pretzels. I went to my room, checked to make sure the wifi was working (because I didn’t think about international charges on my phone, so I’m not sure what to do about that), and I told Hubby that I was safe and sound via Facebook messenger.
I went to the restaurant and asked if I could still order dinner. She said all she had were what basically breaks down to as TV dinners. For $7. I don’t care. I’m starving and I don’t have a car to go anywhere else.
I got her to heat up a shepherd’s pie, and while I was waiting I had a wonderful Canadian lager. I sat and talked with a guy named John for a while, and like all Canadians, he was very nice. I finished my beverage and asked how much I owe. She said $12.50. I said do you take Visa?
No, cash only.
A restaurant in a hotel that doesn’t take cards when the hotel does? I tried to use the ATM and it wouldn’t read my card.
John paid for my dinner and I ate in my room.
To be fair, I usually travel with cash. But my reasoning behind it was, I RARELY use it, especially when I am on company trips, and I wasn’t about to spend money switching to Canadian currency when I was just going to be here for a couple days. Everyone takes cards these days, anyway, right? Lesson learned.
I lost track of how many signs there were that this little Texas girl was going the wrong way. That something just doesn’t want me to be in Canada. But maybe it was just a bad day.
But tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow there might be Polar Bears.